Real life is hard. I remember being a middle-schooler thinking, when I’m a teenager this will all be easier, but then I was a teenager and I thought when I’m out of high school this will all be easier, then college, then adult hood and so on and so forth. But the intriguing thing is, somethings do get easier and somethings get harder. That’s life. It’s an adventure. But the part that is important is perspective.
What’s important? What is worth the pain?
My answer, my son. He’s what I fight everyday for. Even when I’m exhausted I make sure the time we spend together is full and focused and wonderful, because he is worth it. Last night he got up three times and I have two choices, one be annoyed that my sleep has been disrupted or find the joy in the sweet way he calls for me.
“Mama.” He says. “Mama, I’m thirsty.”
And I melt. I get him a cup of water, give him oodles of kisses and hugs and sing him a song. I look at it as a stolen time and I love it. But today, today I’m exhausted, but it’s worth the pain for the love he gives.
So as I refine and refine Bloodrealms, and I find myself frustrated with how to connect two thoughts in the novel, I know that if I just remember the love and joy of writing and how much I care for my characters that they will show me how they get out of this mess. It’s not writers block by any means. Just a predicament that my characters find themselves in and sometimes it is scary to write what they tell you to, because its sad, but that’s real life. Real life is filled with emotions, filled with yearning and filled with love. And if all the emotions are in a novel, then the novel can touch your heart.
I’m reading through the entire novel, not just pieces. So the full story is laid before me once again. And I’m finding things I left for myself to find. Little secrets. Some of them make me laugh, some I cry and some are full of passion that leaves me breathless.
And all I can say is, words are powerful.